
Class 
Book 



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10 



COPYRIGHT DEPOSIT; 



Copyright 1908 
by 

MARY B. HITCHCOCK 

All rights reserved 



Engraved and Printed by 

Gotham Press 

New York 

Cover Designed by 

Peninsular Paper Co. 

Ypsilanti, Mich. 



/JL 



Tales Out of School 



ABOUT 



IfiLk 
Naval Officers ' 3 7 

(and others) 

B Y 
A Woman who has lived on a 

Man-of-War 

MARY E. HITCHCOCK 

u 

(Mrs. Roswku, D. Hitchcock) 

Author of 
Two Women in the Klondike 



GOTHAM PRESS 

PUBLISHERS 

New York 



lu&KARY of 'obNartEsSj 
MAY 1 W08 

oopy s. 




nPO our Officers who have placed our 
beloved country in the front rank 
by their bravery and filled us with 
pride. . . . Who are kindly in time 
of peace .... dignified when the 
occasion demands. 

They have so keen a sense of humor 
that they do not in the least mind 
telling jokes about their comrades, or 
even about themselves. 

It does not in any way detract from 
their dignity nor from the respect which 
they feel for one another. The author 
desires in this little book to lift the veil 
and show how amusing and witty they 
are. 

There is a time to be brave, a time 
to be serious. There is also a time 
for mirth. 

May this be the time, auspicious. 



THE ADMIRAL WHO KEPT 
A SAILORS' BOARDING- 
HOUSE 

HOW ADMIRAL K IN- 
TERRUPTED A CAUDLE 
LECTURE 

ADMIRAL K 'S REPLY 

TO HIS WOULD-BE 
SON-IN-LAW 



THE ADMIRAL WHO KEPT A 
SAILOR'S BOARDING HOUSE. 

There was a certain Admiral 

K whom everyone in the 

Navy will remember. 

When he was a captain he had 
command of the Receiving Ship 
at the New York Navy Yard. 

Shortly after being assigned to 
this command, he was invited to 
be the guest of honor at a dinner 
at one of New York's prominent 
clubs. 

Reaching there nearly an hour 
before the appointed time, he 
found no one to welcome him. 

As he wandered through the 
rooms he was approached by a 
very fresh young "dude" who 
said: 

"Ah! Ah! your face is very 
familiar. Haven't I met you be- 
fore?" 



"Probably you have." 

" Where do you live?" 

"Oh! over in Brooklyn, where 
I keep a sailor's boarding-house/' 
Without replying the fop turned 
on his heel and walked away, evi- 
dently having decided to drop 
the acquaintance. Not until he 
was called upon to be presented 
to the guest of honor did he learn 
what a very high-toned "sailor's 
boarding-house" this naval of- 
ficer commanded. 



HOW ADMIRAL K INTER- 
RUPTED A CAUDLE LECTURE. 

Another story which was told 
me by this same admiral seems 
rather improbable, but he swore 
that it was "gospel truth." 

In his younger days he was 
very fond of attending the races. 

His wife highly disapproved of 
such dissipation and strongly but 
uselessly protested. 

One night, having returned 
later than usual, he found his 
wife sitting up in bed, waiting for 
him, as some wives have a habit 
of doing. The following conver- 
sation took place: 

"Where have you been?" 

"Where do you suppose?" 

"Where do I suppose? To the 
races as usual, after all your 
promises." 



"Now listen, old lady" (affec- 
tionately). 

"How much money have you 
lost?" 

"Listen!" 

"How much money have you 
lost?" 

"Well — I'm going to tell you 
about it." 

"How much money have you 
lost?" 

"Not a cent! Look at this!" 
and out came a great roll of bills. 
I've won all this! and now will 
you listen? If you'll let up on 
that caudle lecture and go to 
sleep and never say another word 
about it, I'll give you half!!!" 

"Let me count it." 

The money was handed over, 
carefully counted, one half re- 
turned to the winner, the other 
half neatly rolled up and tucked 

10 



under the pillow, upon which the 
pretty head of the admiral's 
"guiding star" reposed as she 
closed her eyes and wooed sweet 
slumber. 






11 



. 



ADMIRAL K 'S REPLY TO HIS 

WOULD-BE SON-IN-LAW. 

Admiral K was devoted 

to his wife and children. 

When one of his officers re- 
quested the hand of his daughter 
in marriage he asked the usual 
question as to means of sup- 
port. 

"Why, Admiral," said the ap- 
plicant, "I have as much as you 
had when you married her 
mother." 

"Oh, no you haven't," replied 
the admiral. "I had a father-in- 
law who was begging me to 
come and live with him and you 
haven't." 



12 









HOW JACK FIXED THE 
"SKY-PILOT" 



HOW JACK FIXED THE "SKY-PILOT." 

A chaplain in the Navy gave 
me the following story for this 
collection : 

He was deeply interested in 
every sailor on his ship, but par- 
ticularly so in Jack Wheeler. He 
felt that if he could only per- 
suade him to give up whiskey he 
could make a fine man of him. 

His heart and mind were so 
filled with a great desire to save 
this soul from the enemy that 
was trying to encompass him 
that Jack became annoyed at re- 
ceiving too much attention, con- 
sequently his heart and mind 
were filled with a determination 
to circumvent the plans of the 
"Sky-Pilot." 

Many a time when Jack 
emerged from one of the numer- 
ous saloons which beset the 

15 



pathway to his particular navy 
yard he would find the faithful 
chaplain waiting to offer him a 
friendly arm and as equally 
friendly advice. 

Jack's protests were in vain. 

At last he contracted the habit 
of looking up and down the street 
before emerging from a saloon 
to discover if his would-be pro- 
tector was in sight. Whenever 
he saw him he punished him by 
going back immediately for an 
extra drink. 

The punishment had its effect. 

The devoted chaplain, instead 
of waiting to escort his prot6g6 
back to the ship, decided to con- 
ceal himself in the shade of a 
friendly tree or doorway. 

Late one night, from his point 
of vantage, he watched Jack 
emerge, look carefully about, 

16 



then heard him chuckle: 

"Fooled him this time! 
Thought Td tire him out !" 

As Jack reached the corner and 
looked carefully about, he caught 
sight of his shadow. 

Shaking his forefinger at it he 
shouted: "So you're here again! 
after all my warnings! Didn't 
I tell you that I was not going to 
to be followed like this? Well, I 
bet I'll tire you out! I'm just go- 
ing to sit down on this nice 
soft gutter and here I'm going to 
stop." 

After a long wait Jack arose 
with much difficulty. The 
shadow rose with him. 

Jack tried to run away, but it 
kept pace with him. 

Several times he stopped and 
engaged in a one-sided conver- 
sation, but getting no reply, he 

17 



continued his way to the navy 
yard. 

Finally in exasperation he 
stopped, turned and addressed 
the shadow in these words: 

"Now look a-here! I'm tired of 
this following. I don't care if you 
did know my father and mother; 
that's no reason why you should 
dog- my footsteps wherever I go ! 
Now it's got to be stopped or else 
there'll be something lively a 
doing! Do you hear? Do you 
hear, I say! 

"Oh, you're sulking, are you? 
Well let me tell you one thing — 
I'd a put a head on you long ago 
if you'd not been a sky-pilot! If 
you don't clear out I'm going to 
do it now!" 

Just then clouds covered the 
face of the moon — the shadow 
disappeared. 

18 



Jack chuckled. "That's what 
fixed him! Afraid of getting a 
head on him! Why didn't I 
think of that before?" 






19 



WHY THE ORDER WAS IS- 
SUED FORBIDDING 
WOMEN TO LIVE 
ON A MAN- 
OF-WAR 



WHY THE ORDER WAS ISSUED FOR- 
BIDDING WOMEN TO LIVE ON A 
MAN-OF-WAR. 

We were cruising in the 
Mediterranean in 18 — . One 
week only was alloted us for 
Nice. How much that was de- 
lightful had been crowded into 
that short week! We had been 
entertained officially and socially. 
The last day had arrived. We 
celebrated it by giving a farewell 
luncheon, reception and dinner. 
The festivities had come to an 
end. A dozen guests were wait- 
ing to wish us God-speed, as we 
were to "steam" away in the 
early morn. 

"Madame remains on board?" 
asked one of the French officers. 

"Yes, Madame lives on board." 

"But in our country it is not 

23 



permitted for a lady to live on a 
man-of-war/' 

"Neither is it in ours/' replied 
one of our American guests, "but 
there are occasional exceptions, 
as in this case." 

By the way, perhaps it may in- 
terest you to learn that I was 
the direct cause of that order be- 
ing issued, and if it is not too 
late I will tell the story. 

"Many years ago/' began our 
American guest, "I was an of- 
ficer of the United States Navy. 

"I had been married but a short 
time to the sweetest woman in 
the world when orders came for 
me to take command of a sea- 
going vessel. 

"We were in despair until per- 
mission came for my bride to 
live on board. 

"She was an only child, a great 

24 






'- 



heiress, and accustomed to com- 
mand. 

"At the first port we visited, 
while driving through the park, 
my wife's attention was attracted 
to the tropical flowers just in 
bloom. 

"She sweetly asked me to 
gather some of them for her. I 
explained that it was against the 
law to do so. She stopped the 
carriage, got out, and with her 
pretty nose tilted high in sign of 
scorn for the 'the man who did 
not dare/ began breaking off 
branch after branch, notwith- 
standing my protests. 

"A policeman appeared and 
told her courteously that she was 
committing an unlawful act. 

"She turned upon him with an 
air of hauteur and great surprise; 
after gazing at him until the 

25 



man seemed paralyzed, said: 
'How dare you address me in 
that style? How dare you?' She 
quietly and gracefully got into 
the carriage and gave the order 
to drive on, leaving the police- 
man too astonished to speak. 

"We got out of that port 
safely — but at the next! 

"We had been swinging at an- 
chor a couple of days. 

"The men had been given lib- 
erty and were enjoying it. 

"Late one night there was 
great commotion on deck. A 
sailor had come on board so 
drunk that he felt competent to 
wipe out the entire ship's crew 
and was loudly threatening to do 
so. 

"Trying not to waken my wife, 
I slipped quietly on deck and soon 
had the mutineer in irons. 

26 



"Just as he was being* led 
away by the 'master-at-arms' a 
pretty head appeared above the 
companion-way, a female voice 
inquired in scornful accents, 
'Who put those cruel irons on 
that man?' Then pointing at me, 
she commanded, 'Take them off, 
you brute you!' 

"Shortly after another sailor 
came on board drunk. It w r as 
long- after midnight. The dis- 
turbance he created roused every- 
one on board. As I sprang out of 
bed to go where duty called, a 
figure clad in white rushed up 
the companion-way, locked the 
doors, was down before I could 
reach her and threw the key out 
of the air-port. As I explained 
that every one on board would 
brand me as a coward if I failed 
to appear she wept and said: 

27 



'Let them! You are worth more 
than all the others combined. I 
heard him shout he was going to 
kill you. Let him kill them in- 
stead/ 

"I did the only thing left for 
me to do. Sent in my resigna- 
tion. Of course the stories soon 
reached headquarters in Wash- 
ington, after which came the or- 
der prohibiting women from liv- 
ing on men-of-war. 

"Of course that all happened 
in the 'Old Navy/ Sailors do 
not get intoxicated nowadays/' 



28 



ADMIRAL SIGSBEE'S 

STORIES. BY HIMSELF. 

WITH THE ADDITION 

OF ONE I KNOW 

ABOUT HIM 

THE SHOEMAKER'S 
LETTER 

ABOUT COMMANDER LA 

ROCHA OF THE ROYAL 

SPANISH NAVY 

ADMIRAL SIGSBEE AND 

THE "DAUGHTERS OF 

THE GRAND ARMY" 

A TERRIBLE THUNDER 

STORM AND WHAT 

HAPPENED 



ADMIRAL SIGSBEE'S STORIES. BY 
HIMSELF, WITH THE ADDITION 
OF ONE I KNOW ABOUT HIM. 

THE SHOEMAKER'S LETTER. 

ABOUT COMMANDER LA ROCHA OF 
THE ROYAL SPANISH NAVY. 

ADMIRAL SIGSBEE AND THE 
"DAUGHTERS OF THE GRAND 

ARMY." 

In writing to chide Admiral 
Sigsbee for not sending me a 
story in answer to my request 
I also sympathized with him in 
having such a tremendous 
amount of work in hand that it 
could cause him to forget an old 
friend. 

Here is his reply: 
Dear Mrs. Hitchcock: 

I am so very glad that that 
sunny temper of yours has not 
held againsft me my failure to 
respond quickly. 

You ask me for stories. 

It is very difficult to call up a 

31 



story except on the inspiration 
of one told by another. 

Here is something- concerning 
the Maine: 

After the loss of the Maine, 
and at the beginning of the 
Spanish-American War, I got a 
letter from a shoemaker as fol- 
lows: 

Dear Sir: — If you will give me 
the shoes in which you were 
blown up on board the Maine to 
put in my show window, I will 
make you a pair of shoes with 
which you can kick all the navies 
of the world into Kingdom 
come. 

These, shoes were virtually the 
only things worth having that I 
saved from the Maine, and I was 
wearing them when I received 
this letter. 

I was also wearing them when 

32 



I visited the wreck of the Maria 
Theresa. 

The sole of one of them caught 
under a gangway cleat and was 
torn off. 

Here is another story: 

Perhaps you will remember 
that on June 22, 1908, the Saint 
Paul, under my command, was 
attacked off San Juan, Porto 
Rico, by the Spanish cruiser 
Isabella II, and the destroyer 
Terror. The destroyer made her 
dash at the Saint Paul to torpedo 
the latter. 

The Saint Paul accepted the 
attack. 

The destroyer lost five killed 
and seven wounded out of sev- 
enty in her crew. 

She was badly damaged, and 
barely managed to get back to 
port without assistance. 

33 



She was of no further use to 
the Spaniards during the war. 
The attack was made in the day- 
time, which w r as a great mistake. 

The commander of the Terror 
was Commander la Rocha. 

The Saint Paul was not 
touched. 

Commander la Rocha was 
tried before a court in Spain 
where it was considered that he 
had not done well in his attack. 

About a year ago, at San 
Juan, I contended to an ex- 
Spanish officer, who was a great 
friend of La Rocha, that La 
Rocha had made a very gallant 
dash at the Saint Paul, and had 
done quite right in steaming 
away and saving his vessel when 
it was damaged beyond all fur- 
ther usefulness. 

As to the attack being made in 

34 



the daytime the ex-Spanish of- 
ficer said that La Rocha was or- 
dered to do so by higher au- 
thority. 

My commendation of Com- 
mander la Rocha was published 
in the San Juan papers, and later 
in the Spanish papers under the 
heading: 

"The Distinguished Rear-Ad- 
miral Sigsbee Rehabilitates Com- 
mander la Rocha." 

Commander la Rocha became 
insane, and died but a few months 
ago. His widow has since writ- 
ten me a kind letter and has sent 
me two pictures of "The Terror." 

Certainly his widow has my 
great sympathy, and I regret 
that so gallant an antagonist 
should have suffered. 

I will now give you some sto- 
ries personal to myself. Once I 

35 



was induced to attend a meeting 
of the "Daughters of the Grand 
Army" under promise that I need 
not make a speech, alas ! the chief 
orator failed the "Daughters" and 
I was compelled — but very 
charmingly — to say something. 
The audience, almost to a 
man, were women. 

I got in touch with them by 
saying that naval officers were 
not orators and could do but lit- 
tle on shore. 

But, said I, there are three 
things that a naval officer 
can do thoroughly well on shore. 

First — he can ride a horse. 

Second — he can manage a 
farm. 

Third — he can hold a baby. 

This gave me a bit of a start. 

am 

There! Will these do for 

36 



stories ? I could tell them by the 
week at a social party where each 
member would do his part. 

Believe me, dear Mrs. Hitch- 
cock, always and most faithfully 
your sincere friend, 

Charles D. Sigsbee. 

As I know at least one story 
of the Admiral quite as interest- 
ing as anything he has written 
for this collection I cannot re- 
frain from adding it. 



37 



A TERRIBLE THUNDER STORM IN 
WASHINGTON AND WHAT HAP- 
PENED. 

Many years ago when my hus- 
band was stationed in Washing- 
ton we were in the habit of hav- 
ing eleven o'clock suppers. Our 
guests were principally naval of- 
ficers and their wives. 

Admiral and Mrs. Sigsbee, 
being near neighbors, were very 
often with us. 

Upon one occasion there was a 
terrific storm raging which no 
one who was in Washington at 
that time can ever forget. It un- 
roofed houses, uprooted trees. 
The thunder was like heavy can- 
nonading; the lightning blinding. 

Suddenly there was a terrible 
thunder clap, followed by the 
crashing and falling of a majestic 
tree just outside the house. 

38 



As we waited, spellbound, the 
door-bell rang violently. 

A dusky maiden, wet to the 
skin, was admitted. She rushed 
through the hall and into the din- 
ing-room shouting: "Oh, Massa 
Sigsbee! Oh, Massa Cap'n! de 
roofs done blowed offen der 
house an' we all's a gitten wet! 

Der Missus say come home 
straight quick!" 

Had it not been for the tracks 
left by her dripping garments it 
would have seemed as though 
but a vision had appeared, so 
quickly did the messenger vanish. 

Sigsbee (who was then a cap- 
tain) held out his glass to be re- 
filled with punch. 

"Why, Capt. Sigsbee! aren't 
you going?" I exclaimed in sur- 
prise. 

"Oh, there is no hurry, " he re- 

39 



plied in his cool, deliberate man- 
ner. "If the roof is off the house, 
Til need this to fortify me; if not, 
well then, I think I'll need it all 
the more." 



40 



THE UNWELCOME GUEST 
ON BOARD THE U. S. S. 

' NORFOLK, 

VIRGINIA 






THE UNWELCOME GUEST ON 
BOARD THE U. S. S. ' NOR- 
FOLK, VIRGINIA. 

That human nature is the same 
the world over and that we are 
inclined to see beauty in things 
which belong to our friends and 
to us, even when there is no 
beauty, is demonstrated by the 
following story: 

I had been invited, with a few 
friends, to lunch on board a man- 
of-war stationed in the harbor 
near Norfolk, Virginia. 

As we approached the wharf 
we were followed by an under- 
sized yellow dog who bestowed 
upon us the usual friendly wags 
and greetings which yellow dogs 
seldom fail to give. 

It tumbled into the captain's 
gig, which was waiting for us, 

43 



and climbed the gangway ladder 
at our heels. 

Once on deck, its joy knew no 
bounds. It almost wagged its 
tail off at each officer who 
greeted us, and was so genuinely 
friendly, that each one patted it 
and made some kindly remark. 

Thinking the dog belonged to 
one of the officers, we praised the 
beauty it suddenly developed in 
our eyes. Finally, after it had 
been enthusiastically praised, I 
said: "Yes! he is a darling! To 
whom does he belong?" 

"Why! does he not belong to 
your party?" asked one of the of- 
ficers in great surprise. 

"No! he just followed us! We 
thought he belonged on board." 

As we descended for luncheon 
we realized that the beautiful 
dog had been transformed into a 

44 



common yellow cur as we heard 
the order, "Get that cur on 
shore !" 



45 



VESUVIO IN CHARLESTON, 

S. C, "THE BEAUTIFUL 

CITY BY THE SEA" 




1/ 
be 
cd 

Ph 

o 

tfi 



VESUVIO IN CHARLESTON, S. C, 
"THE BEAUTIFUL CITY BY THE 
SEA." 

In 1890 we cruised along the 
Atlantic Coast with headquarters 
at Charleston/' the beautiful city 
by the sea/' We had with us a dog 
named Vesuvio. He was a mag- 
nificent specimen of a great Dane 
and was not only well known in 
Charleston, but in every port to 
the southernmost point. 

One Summer as we were about 
to leave for a vacation in the 
North we were persuaded by the 
veterinary surgeon to leave 
Vesuvio out at his dog farm for 
the beneficial effect of country air 
and good care. 

Upon our return many Char- 
lestonians said, "Oh, poor 
Vesuvio, you would scarcely 
know him. He has been nearly 

49 



starved to death and is so thin 
you can almost see every bone in 
his body." 

Vesuvio was hastily sent for — 
the "veterinary" had a mauvais 
quart-d'heure in explaining- the 
beneficial effects of the thinning 
process by well regulated diet. 

A few weeks later, when 
Vesuvio had taken on flesh so 
that he tipped the scales at 200 
pounds, the veterinary surgeon 
called. 

He announced that there was 
to be a big evening parade 
through the streets of Charles- 
ton. 

Men of all professions were to 
show by their "floats" what they 
could do. 

He wanted Vesuvio to place on 
his float. His request was indig- 
nantly refused. The surgeon 

50 



continued to urge, and so well 
did he plead his cause that when 
he finally told of the large and 
beautiful cage he had had made 
for Vesuvio he gained his point. 

The night for the great pro- 
cession arrived. All who had 
houses along the line of march 
invited their friends to witness 
the parade. 

On the balcony of one of the 
most fashionable mansions of 
the Battery, surrounded by Char- 
leston's fairest and most ex- 
clusive society leaders, we stood 
waiting and watching for Vesu- 
vio. Long before his approach 
we heard the cry, "Here comes 
Vesuvio! Here comes Vesuvio !" 

In a great golden (?) cage!, 
over which hung a canopy of ex- 
quisite flowers, stood the noble 
beast as though, indeed, monarch 

51 



of all he surveyed. But oh! the 
pity of it— in big letters which 
could escape the observation of 
none — was the sign, "I use 
Spratts' Dog Biscuit." 



52 



CAPTAIN D 'S DE- 
FENCE OF OUR FAITH- 
FUL FRIEND JACK 
GOLDEN SILENCE 



CAPTAIN D 'S DEFENCE OF OUR 

FAITHFUL FRIEND JACK GOLDEN 
SILENCE. 

A certain captain, during his 
cruise in Japan, spent much time 
in searching for a pair of pure 
blooded Japanese dogs. 

The very finest of the breed 
are so small that the Japanese 
women carry them in the sleeves 
of their kimonos. 

The captain finally succeeded 
in securing two of the greatest 
beauties that had ever been seen 
in the country. 

They were hardly longer than 
his hand. 

On reaching the Pacific Coast 
he gave a large reception on 
board ship in return for many 
courtesies and much hospitality. 

After hundreds of guests had 
seen and admired his tiny pets 

55 



and they had been sent below, a 
woman arrived in great state, fol- 
lowed by a curious looking dog 
with small beady eyes, a long 
pointed nose, and large as a fox 
terrier. 

She was cordially welcomed by 
captain and officers. The former 
patted her dog and asked to 
what race it belonged. 

The visitor attracted the at- 
tention of all those surrounding 
the little group by exclaiming in 
loud tones, "Is it possible, Cap- 
tain? Is it possible that you can 
have lived three years in Japan 
and yet fail to recognize a full 
blooded Japanese dog?" 

Heads were turned quickly 
away; stifled sounds were heard 
from all sides. 

When the captain was able to 
control his voice he said in his 

56 



most dignified manner: "Where 
did you secure this Japanese dog, 
Madame?" 

"He came straight from Japan 
on your own ship," was the re- 
ply, "and I purchased him from 
one of your own sailors." 



57 



A number of citizens visiting a 
man-of-war were discussing the 
merits of different dog foods. 

"I always use dog-biscuit for 
mine," said one. 

"I never use anything but pup- 
py-biscuit," ejaculated the dude. 

"Who prescribed it for you?" 
quickly asked the smart-Aleck. 



58 



LIEUT. K- 



PRINCE 



PALEOLOGUE AND THE 
PROFESSIONAL DOG- 



BARBER 



LIEUT. K , PRINCE PALEOL- 

OGUE AND THE PROFESSIONAL 
DOG-BARBER. 

One of the best dog stories I 
have ever listened to was given 
me by Prince Paleologue for this 
collection. As he feels confident 
that it was never printed, I take 
the chance and insert it in this 
book. 

An American naval officer, one 
of the few who unfortunately had 
not learned to speak French, 
went to Paris on a short leave of 
absence. 

Strolling along the Quai one 
morning, he happened to see a 
"professional dog barber" at 
work and went down to watch 
the toilet of a French poodle. 
The barber smiled, bowed, and 
pointing to a dog that was fol- 
lowing the officer suggested that 

61 



a bath would improve his ap- 
pearance. 

Upon being addressed, the of- 
ficer smilingly returned the salu- 
tation, whereupon the barber and 
his assistant caught the dog and 
gave him a thorough cleaning. 
The desirability of a combing 
was then suggested. The officer, 
not understanding, continued to 
reply with a smile and bow each 
time he was spoken to. 

The barber then proposed that 
the dog should be treated to a 
"Complet," which means trim- 
ming, perfuming, etc., etc. 

Another friendly smile and 
nod as the officer watched with 
great interest the intricacies of 
the toilet. 

Finally the barber proposed 
that the dog's hair should be tied 
with ribbons. 

62 



The broad smile of the officer 
encouraged the barber to do his 
best. 

As last, as he could think of 
nothing* more, he stopped re- 
gretfully, scribbled a long list of 
items on a piece of paper and 
then presented it with a most 
obsequious bow to the friendly 
but non-talkative individual 
whom he supposed to be an Am- 
erican millionaire. 

The officer accepted the sou- 
venir, bowed, put it in his pocket, 
said good-bye and started to re- 
turn to his hotel. 

The barber, gesticulating vio- 
lently, stood before him, in order 
to prevent his departure, explain- 
ing that he had only charged the 
correct price. 

A small crowd began to gather. 

At this point Prince Paleologue 

63 



passed. Seeing a foreigner in 
difficulty, he went down the steps 
to inquire if he could be of ser- 
vice. 

He looked over the bill which 
the barber procured and handed 
him, and then told the officer that 
the items were perfectly correct. 

Finding that the stranger did 
not understand French, he ex- 
plained to him in English. 

"But," was the reply, "why 
should I pay for this? The dog 
does not belong to me." 

As this speech was interpreted 
to the one who had so carefully 
arranged the toilet of the dog 
there was a howl from the crowd. 

Needless to say, the poor beast 
was immediately deprived of his 
ribbons and vigorously aided on 
his journey. 



64 



THE COMMODORE WHO 

TRIED TO SPEAK 

FRENCH 

Who Also Snored, But Not 
Always 



THE COMMODORE WHO TRIED TO 
SPEAK FRENCH. 

WHO Al^SO SNORED, BUT NOT ALWAYS 

Once upon a time a certain 
Commodore was dining with me 
at my hotel in a French port 
where our ships had been sta- 
tioned for three months. 

It was a table d'hote dinner. 

One of the dishes so pleased 
the palate of the Commodore that 
he said: "Do you mind if I ask 
the waiter to pass that dish 
again ?" 

Permission being promptly 
given, he called, "Garcon! gar- 
con! donnez-moi un petit pev 
plus de cette etoffe la! Je suis 
grande femme ce soir." 

After dinner the Commodore 
told the following story: 

"The other night I was awak- 
ened by the officer on watch, who 
said: 'Beg your pardon, Commo- 

67 



\ 



dore! Beg your pardon! but you 
were snoring so hard and seemed 
to be in such distress that I took 
the liberty of coming in to turn 
you on your side/ 'All right! 
all right !' said I 'Much 
obliged! You'll find the whis- 
key on the sideboard!" 

"The very next time that of- 
ficer was on watch I heard him 
enter my cabin, walk to the side 
of my bunk, when he laid hands 
upon me and attempted to turn 
me over. 

"'What's the matter?' I ex- 
claimed. 

" 'Beg your pardon, Commo- 
dore! Beg your pardon! but you 
were snoring so hard ' 



(C (i 



'That's all right, young man. 
The whiskey's on the sideboard, 
but I've not yet been asleep! I 
heard you come in.' " 

68 



A ROYAL PAIR 

Meaning the Most Genial of 
Kings and the Most Strenu- 
ous and Versatile of 
Emperors 



A ROYAL PAIR. 

Did you ever visit Cowes dur- 
ing the yachting season? 

In the early eighties I was one 
of a delightful party — guest of a 
charming yachtsman on whose 
floating palace time passed so en- 
chanting^ly that we would fain 
have remained forever. The Em- 
peror of Germany, on the Ho- 
henzollern, and the present King 
of England, on the royal yacht, 
were near neighbors, making the 
harbor very gay. 

There were luncheons and din- 
ners afloat and at the club, but 
the most interesting thing for 
Americans was to lunch at the 
little hotel on shore, where 
famous men and equally cele- 
brated women stood on line, wait- 
ing for a table, and then, instead 
of being obsequiously served, as 

71 



they would have been at New- 
port, Bar Harbor or other sum- 
mer resorts, the men, plate in 
hand, wandered English fashion 
to side tables, cutting a dainty 
bit from a choice joint, or helping 
themselves and their guests from 
any dish which tempted their 
fancy or appetite. 

In the afternoon we would 
stray into the club to watch the 
races and have a cup of tea or 
an ice. 

It was all pleasure, all excite- 
ment. 

The most novel part of the en- 
tire proceeding to an American 
was, that each one tried to sur- 
pass his neighbor in being demo- 
cratic. 

The United States Flagship, a 
thing of beauty, was in the har- 
bor. 

72 



Our host and his guests had 
been lunching on board with 
Admiral and Mrs. . 

As we adjourned to the deck 
for coffee, I exclaimed, "Here 
comes the Meteor! I wonder 
who is on board !" 

The glasses were quickly- 
brought into requisition, reveal- 
ing the then Prince of Wales 
with his imperial nephew. 

A battered looking hat pro- 
tected the head of one of the 
twain. 

On the impulse of the moment 
I whispered a challenge to the 
admiral, with the result that two 
moments later his band was 
loudly playing "Where Did You 
Get That Hat?" to the intense 
amusement of the royal pair. 



73 



ADMIRAL PORTER'S EX- 
PLANATION OF WHAT 
MOSQUITOES ARE 
GOOD FOR 



ADMIRAL PORTER'S EXPLANATION 
OF WHAT MOSQUITOES ARE 
GOOD FOR. 

"Don't you know what mos- 
quitoes are good for?" asked a 
friend of mine. 

"I do ! Admiral Porter told me 
when I was a young girl. 

He said he had been cruising 
off the coast of South America. 

When his ship reached port 
everyone was allowed to go on 
shore except a corporal's guard 
and the cook's son. 

The hatches had been left open 
and of course this boy had to fall 
through. 

He was picked up badly in- 
jured. The surgeon was sent 
for while he was undressed and 
laid on the table so that a search 
for broken bones might be made. 

As the boat came alongside 

77 



those in charge of the patient left 
him alone in order to go and 
break the news gently to the 
cook. 

The surgeon, on entering to 
examine the patient, exclaimed, 
"What is this black mass?" 

The boy was simply covered 
with mosquitoes. 

They were swept away with a 
fly-brush. 

After careful examination the 
surgeon said to the anxious par- 
ent, "The mosquitoes have saved 
him from congestion of the brain. 
They have bled him just as I 
should have done." 



78 



HOW A MISSIONARY WAS 

MADE BY TALES OF A 

NAVAL OFFICER 



HOW A MISSIONARY WAS MADE BY 
TALES OF A NAVAL OFFICER. 

We all know the intense love 
that naval officers have for mis- 
sionaries — the many sacrifices 
they make in order to assist them 
in teaching and Christianizing 
the heathen. 

How they teach their children 
to give up sweets, luxuries and 
sometimes even necessities that 
they may save the pennies to 
send to Greenland's icy moun- 
tains or to India's coral strands. 

How they apply time and again 
to the Navy Department to send 
their ships away from Newport, 
Bar Harbor, Old Point Comfort, 
Nice and other Mediterranean 
ports where they are being 
tempted to pass their time in friv- 
olous amusements, and to be per- 
mitted to go to the smaller ports 

81 



unbeaten tracks where they may 
enjoy the pleasure of placing 

themselves and their ships at the 
service of those who are en- 
gaged in a holy calling. 

In all parts of the world there 
are missionaries — good men and 
women, doing noble work which 
commands our respect, love and 
admiration — but occasionally a 
black sheep slips into the fold, 

just as black sheep slip into every 
fold. I cannot tell whether the 
one now to be described will be 
black or white. You must read 
the story and judge for yourself. 

A certain captain told me, that 
on his return to the Unites States 
from Japan, having a "show ship/' 
he had many visitors on board. 

Among them was a young man 
who called very often. He was 

82 



intensely interested in stories of 
China and Japan, and constantly 
bewailed his fate at being obliged 
to remain quietly at home when 
so many others had delightful op- 
portunities for travel. 

Some years after, our Captain 
met the mother of this young 
man and said: "What has be- 
come of your son? I have not 
seen him for a long while !" 

The mother folded her hands, 
looked toward Heaven with an 
air of resignation as she said with 
a sigh: "My poor son! My poor 
son ! When he was a babe I gave 
him to the Lord! Now that the 
Lord has seen fit to call him to 
that heathen country — Japan — 
as a missionary, I can only say, 
'His will be done V " 



83 



MRS. ADMIRAL AND MRS. 
JUNIOR LIEUTENANT 



MRS. ADMIRAL AND MRS. JUNIOR 
LIEUTENANT. 

Once upon a time in "The Old 
Navy" a very prominent admiral 
had command of a very prom- 
inent fleet. 

His wife, who had married late 
in life, had a most exalted idea 
of her rank — far more exalted 
than the dear old admiral had of 
his. 

She expected the wives of all 
officers on her husband's ship to 
touch their bonnets to her. 

She demanded the most ob- 
sequious attention. 

At a fete which was given by a 
royal personage she was seated 
at a small table surrounded by 
the wives of her captains. The 
table was about fifteen feet from 
the "royal table." 

A certain captain's wife turned 

87 



to address a few remarks to Mrs. 
Admiral, when she was sharply 
rebuked by the latter in these 
words: "Turn around at once, 
Mrs. S. ! Don't you know any bet- 
ter than to turn your back on 
royalty?" 

Some one whispered, "Which 
is royalty, the Queen, or Mrs. 
Admiral?" 



88 



A tea was given by one of the 
officer's wives. A young bride, 
wife of a poor lieutenant, had not 
been in the navy long enough to 
be inspired with awe by any 
woman of high or low rank. 

She belonged to New York's 
smartest set. She rose to take 
her leave, explaining to her 
hostess that she was obliged to 
keep an engagement of much im- 
portance. 

As she started toward the door 
Mrs. Admiral said: "I beg your 
pardon, Mrs. Junior Lieutenant, 
but you don't seem to realize that 
my rank entitles me to a little 
consideration, and that no one 
should leave before I do." 

Mrs. Junior Lieutenant turned 
to her hostess and said in a most 
nonchalant manner: 

89 



"Will you allow me to look at 
your navy register ?" 

The book was handed her. Si- 
lence reigned as Mrs. Junior 
Lieutenant coolly turned the 
pages and finally looking Mrs. 
Admiral directly in the eyes, 
said: "I don't see your name or 
rank in this book, which is an 
authorized edition." 

The silence was alarming and 
predicted a tempest as Mrs. 
Junior Lieutenant smilingly left 
the room. 



A JAPANESE MAID 

Vicissitudes of Foreign Life in 
Far-Off Nippon 

This story appeared in the 
Boston Transcript August 12, 
1903. 

It was copied in the New York 
Evening Post August 15, 1903, 
due credit being given to the Bos- 
ton Transcript and to its author, 
Mary E. Hitchcock. 



91 



A JAPANESE MAID. 

"From the moment we touched 
the shore of that beautiful coun- 
try which the French call "Le 
beau Nippon," our faces were 
wreathed in smiles ; but when we 
seated ourselves in the baby car- 
riages, known as jinrickishas, 
while "J a P s " got between the 
shafts, trotting off with us at a 
rattling pace, we broke into 
hearty laughter at the novelty 
and pleasure of the unique situa- 
tion. 

The Admiral's wife did protest 
just at first, saying she thought 
it very cruel to permit one's self 
to be drawn by a human being. 
She even held her breath, hoping 
to make her two hundred pounds 
a less heavy burden for the man 
who, I am confident, never no- 
ticed the difference. She soon en- 

93 



tered into the fun of the thing, 
however, and, would you be- 
lieve it — before the end of our 
stay in Yokohama, learned to 
shout "Hiako! Hiako!" (faster! 
faster!) to her beast of burden, 
quite as emphatically as the na- 
tives themselves. 

We had so many strange and 
amusing experiences during our 
two years' stay in the Orient that 
it is difficult to select from the 
great box of manuscript before 
me the little story requested. I 
will shut my eyes and draw one 
at random. Why, it is about Ah- 
ma, my Japanese maid. What a 
funny little thing she was, to be 
sure! Of course, if you are a 
woman hoping to visit the Ori- 
ent you will want to know how 
we secured the services of these 
most interesting diminutive 
creatures. 

94 



"We," in this case, means quite 
a party of the wives of officers 
who were following" the United 

States man-of-war , and 

enjoying it, too, until Secretary 
Chandler issued his famous 
"Woman order": "No more 
women allowed to follow the 
ships !" Some obeyed, some pro- 
tested loudly, saying that they 
had a perfect right to go where 
they pleased. They had never 
sworn to love, honor and obey 
Secretary Chandler, and had no 
intention of doing so. He had 
no right to tell them to go home 
and live with their parents while 
their husbands were cruising. 
That was perfectly true — but — he 
had the right to detach their hus- 
bands, and leave them "high and 
dry on the beach," which he 
promptly proceeded to do, thus 

95 



interfering with the rights of 
free-born woman in free-born 
America. You may imagine the 
storm which followed, but that is 
another story. 

To return to Ahma. 

We were warned not on any 
account to hire a maid who had 
lived with our own country- 
women or with Europeans, who 
invariably spoiled them. 

We were directed to the con- 
vent, where the sisters had been 
carefully training girls of good 
family and reputation for the ser- 
vice of foreigners; so to the con- 
vent we all went. 

My choice was a dear little- 
roly-poly who seemed the soul of 
good nature. 

I felt quite proud of my new 
acquisition as I drove back to the 
hotel. 

96 



Not for long did she belong to 
me, however, for no sooner had 
she and my five-year-old "Dolly" 
clapped eyes upon each other 
than they became inseparable. 

Roly-Poly, with her twenty- 
four years, seemed the bigger 
baby of the two as they played 
and romped together, but when 
bedtime came — ah ! then how the 
little maid lavished upon sleepy 
Dolly a world of such motherly 
tenderness as she had never 
known herself, for the good sis- 
ters had taken her as a babe from 
arms which were pressing her 
tightly to a heart which had long 
since ceased to beat. 

Dolly at times had her im- 
perious moods. She apologized 
to Ahma after an outburst of tem- 
per, but not for one moment 
would the maid admit that her 

97 



little mistress was in the wrong, 
as she explained to me: "Dolly- 
San inside — allee time good — 
just now — outside — little bit closs 
(cross) have got. Plenty people 
allee time inside bad." 

She had names of her own for 
each caller. It was impossible 
for her to announce them except 
in her own way. An officer who 
is now a captain in the United 
States Navy (who will smile as 
he reads this) was invariably 
ushered into my presence with 
these words: "Please, Missee- 
San, nice face young man have 
got." 

One never-to-be-forgotten day 
Dolly and I discovered Roly- 
Poly sobbing and weeping as 
though her heart would break. 
To all inquiries we could only get 
the occasional reply: "No 
wantchee talk." 

98 



I left her with Dolly, who soon 
hastened to me, her big eyes 
overflowing with tears as she 
sobbed, "Oh, mamma! Ahma's 
father is dead !" Here was some- 
thing tangible ; we could now of- 
fer consolation, but found it of no 
avail. Ahma wanted to be alone 
with her grief, and her wishes 
were respected. 

Time, which often assuages 
sorrow, seemed to have no effect 
in this case. 

Roly-Poly wept for days and 
for weeks — until I felt that some- 
thing must be done. 

The cause of her despair came 
to light when we asked if she did 
not think her father much hap- 
pier in heaven than on earth. 

"Oh, no! no!" she quickly re- 
plied, "my father down-side have 
gone. My father no Catholic 

99 



have got. Sister say, 'No Cath- 
olic — Top-Side Man no likee — 
no wantchee/ Say down-side 
must go." 

The men-of-war were all or- 
dered to Hong Kong. There was 
excitement and gayety in the 
camp among the wives of the of- 
ficers as they began preparations 
for departure — then came an aw- 
ful edict. We must leave our 
little maids behind us. We re- 
belled, protested, and finally 
learned that by going to Japan- 
ese headquarters and signing 
papers that we would be responsi- 
ble for their safe return, all dif- 
ficulties would be removed. 

This we did and we liked 
Japan the better for her careful 
laws of protection. Our consul 
continued to protest, however, 
or rather to advise, declaring that 

100 



we did not realize the responsi- 
bility we were incurring in taking 
these timid little creatures to 
China, where they would be sur- 
rounded by hordes of people 
whose language they could not 
understand; we soon did realize 
it, however, when after three 
weeks' stay in Hong Kong, two 
maidens stood pleading for a day 
off, to be spent in sight-seeing. 

We demurred, argued, and pre- 
sented imaginary terrors of all 
kinds to the persistent, de- 
termined, obstinate applicants 
with their great longing to see 
something of a new world. 

They were "not babies" — they 
had picked up a few words of 
Chinese and knew perfectly well 
how to take care of themselves. 

At last their insistent urging 
brought the desired reward. 

101 



We felt awful misgiving's as 
the last click, click from their 
sandals on the stone pavement 
died away. 

They left early in the morn- 
ing. After tiffin we began to look 
for their return — but night came 
and brought no sign of the sight- 
seers. 

What had happened? 

What should we do? 

At last we heard the welcome 
click-click for which our anxious 
ears had long been waiting. How 
rapidly the footsteps approached! 
Our gentle-mannered Ahmas 
burst into the room as though 
some wild beast were in pur- 
suit ! How excited they were ! 

They talked in unison and so 
vociferously that they were un- 
intelligible. 

A friend to whom we had sent 

102 



for advice, finally prevailed upon 
Chesai to permit Roly-Poly to 
explain. 

Her eyes were in reality as big 
as saucers (small ones) as she 
exclaimed : 

"Oh, Missee San! We go 
great big ship. No money pay! 
New country stop; ev'lybody go 
in beautiful house. We go too — 
no money pay. Ev'lybody plen- 
ty chow eat — we eat too — no 
money pay — no money askee. 
Ev'lybody sit down; plenty 
games play — we no likee games. 
We no wantchee play. We want- 
chee come home — no can — big 
ship no take us ; bimeby we plen- 
ty cly — man bling small boat — 
he plenty money askee. We plen- 
ty money must pay — he bling us 
home!" 

As she concluded her story we 

103 



looked at the friend, and inquired: 

"Where do you suppose they 
have been?" 

"To the biggest fan-tan gamb- 
ling house in all China," he quiet- 
ly replied. 

One more tale about Roly- 
Poly and her loyalty and I have 
done. 

You must first understand that 
we reached the Hong Kong hotel 
before the wives of the other of- 
ficers, and were thus enabled to 
have our choice of quarters. We 
engaged the only sitting room. 
As the house filled with friends 
and acquaintances, you may im- 
agine that it was a pleasure to 
have them gather with us in the 
evening, particularly as many 
were musically inclined. 

Our guests were officers, not 
only from our own ships, but 

104 



from English, French, German, 
Russian, and Spanish men-of- 
war. 

Early one evening, before our 
friends had begun to arrive, 
Chesai's mistress and I sat quiet- 
ly talking, when we heard the 
sound of voices raised in anger. 

Upon opening the door, there 
stood Roly-Poly and Chesai en- 
gaged in so bitter a discussion 
that they failed even to notice us. 

Chesai — "My missee plenty 
gold lings have got!" 

Roly Poly — "My missee ev'ly- 
thing silver her table have got!" 

Chesai — "My missee plenty silk 
dlesses have got !" 

Roly-Poly — "My missee more 
nice hats have got!" 

Chesai — "My missee plenty 
money have got!" 

Roly-Poly — "I no care! I no 

105 



care! My missee ev'ly night 
plenty genTmen have got ! Your 
missee wantchee genTmen; she 
come my missee loom — catchee!" 
And with this parting shot my 
loyal, stupid little Ahma turned 
on her heel. 

We did not dare laugh until 
the last click had died away. 
— Mary E. Hitchcock in Boston 
Transcript/' 



1C6 



HOW DOLLY AND I FOL- 
LOWED THE U. S. S. 
ALERT. 



HOW DOLLY AND I FOLLOWED THE 
U. S. S. ALERT. 

Ten years after the incident de- 
scribed in the preceding story, 
Dolly and I returned to beautiful 
Japan. 

We were following the U. S. S. 
Alert which was commanded by 
my husband. 

On reaching Yokohama, our 
disappointment was great as we 
found that there was not a single 
man-of-war in the harbor. 

We hastened ashore and hur- 
ried to the home of our dear 
friends the Eldridges, where we 
learned that the Alert had been 
ordered to Kobe. 

We tried to telegraph, but as 
it was the day following "the ter- 
rible earthquake" the wires were 
all down. On we went to Kobe. 

109 



Once more disappointment 
stared us in the face. The un- 
usual had happened. Not even 
one country was represented by a 
man-of-war. 

Dr. Abercrombie, most charm- 
ing of consuls, came on board to 
invite us for tiffin at the consulate. 
There we met a dozen or more 
very delightful residents of the 
place, who had been suddenly 
called together in our honor. 

Late that afternoon the 
steamer started for Nagasaki 
where we were assured we would 
find the fleet. 

Many have tried to do justice 
to the entrancing scenery of the 
"Inland Sea," which is between 
Kobe and Nagasaki. As they 
have all failed, it is useless for me 
to attempt a description. 

I can only say that its wonder- 
no 



ful fascination chained Dolly and 
me to the deck, although the rain 
came down in torrents. 

Neither luncheon nor dinner 
attracted us to the dining-room. 
We preferred plain sandwiches 
on deck with the feast of gor- 
geous scenery before us, to a 
feast of good things at a luxuri- 
ously appointed table. 



* 



Another disappointment 
awaited us at Nagasaki. The 
fleet was at Hong Kong. On we 
went. On the day of our arrival 
there, we were up and on deck 
very early in the morning. 

Flags of all countries were fly- 
ing except the one which repre- 
sented our beloved land. 

As we gazed with tear- 

111 



dimmed eyes, we saw a boat put 
off, from a British man-of-war, 
and steer in our direction. We 
watched with interest as it came 
alongside. 

A messenger mounted the 
gangway ladder with a note in 
his hand. 

"Lucky somebody/' said I to 
the captain. "How nice it must 
be to receive news as soon as the 
anchor is dropped." 

The messenger inquired: "Is 
Mrs. Hitchcock on board?" I 
was the "lucky somebody," and 
the note was handed me. 

It was from Captain Leslie 
Burr, Royal Navy, saying he had 
a message from my husband, who 
had been ordered to Shanghai. 

He inquired when he might 
have the pleasure of calling. 

"At once," was my prompt re- 

112 



ply. Shortly after we were 
enjoying a charming talk with 
one of the most delightful men of 
the British Navy. Before he left, 
he asked us for tiffin and invited 
the captains of all the men-of- 
war in the harbor to meet us. 

Such a jolly luncheon! Such 
interesting men with stories from 
all parts of the world. The time 
passed so rapidly that four o'clock 
came before we were aware. We 
were suddenly called on deck to 
witness a gladsome sight. The 
stars and stripes coming into the 
harbor floating from the U.S.S. 
Lancaster, which was making a 
tour of the world. 

How happy we were! It 
brought home so near to us. 

Our old friend, Admiral Har- 
mony, one of the most charming 
admirals in the world, was in 

113 



command. On learning that we 
were guests of Captain Burr, he 
sent his flag-lieutenant, who is al- 
most as delightful as the admiral, 
to tell us that he would like us to 
go on shore in one of our own 
boats. 

In making our adieux, the dif- 
ferent captains asked where we 
were stopping and if they might 
have the privilege of calling. 

It did seem funny to tell them 
that although we had made so 
many acquaintances whom we 
now seemed to know well, we had 
not yet landed in Hong Kong. 

We started for shore with our 
own officers in our own boat, 
which made us feel that home was 
not very far away. To our great 
surprise, on landing on the pier, 
we saw among the officers wait- 
ing to get to their ships, dear old 

114 



friends whom we had met in 
many parts of the world. 

Hearty greetings over, they 
turned and escorted us to the 
Hong Kong hotel, where we 
passed three very happy months. 



115 



DOLLY AND HER CAP 
RIBBONS. 






DOLLY AND HER CAP RIBBONS. 

I really must tell a little joke 
about Dolly (whom I hope will 
forgive me). I do not dare ask 
her permission to tell it in ad- 
vance lest the joke should be lost 
to the world. 

Dolly had a wonderful collec- 
tion of cap-ribbons. They had 
been given to her during her vis- 
its on ships, sent to her from all 
parts, by officers who had seen 
her collection until it had grown 
far beyond that possessed by any 
other girl. The one thing upon 
which Dolly particularly prided 
herself was, that she had never 
asked for one. 

We were at Fortress Monroe 
during the Naval Review when 
girls were vieing with each other 
as to who should be the first one 

119 



seen with a cap-ribbon of the last 
ship to enter the harbor. Dolly 
laid low. She had friends on 
ships from almost every country 
in the world. 

One evening Prince Youriev- 
sky, who had entertained us very 
often in Nice, came to dine with 
us. In his hand was a tiny mys- 
terious package done up in tissue 
paper and tied with pink ribbons. 
The Prince said to Dolly: "Will 
you promise to cast aside all your 
other ribbons and wear this one 
to-night? No one else can have 
anything like it for there are only 
four in our navy — given for great 
bravery. 

As the beautiful band of black 
and orange was fastened around 
the graceful throat, the Prince 
exclaimed : "For heaven's sake do 
not let anyone know who present- 

120 



ed it to you, or I shall be be- 
sieged I" 

As we entered the dining-room, 
the new ribbon attracted great 
attention. . . . After din- 
ner, the girls came in swarms, 
trying to discover what new ship 
was in the harbor and which of- 
ficer had presented the souvenir. 

Dolly was true blue and kept 
her promise. Someone said: 
"That's a Russian name — the 
Prince must know." He was so 
pelted with questions that he fin- 
ally said: "Yes, I gave it to Miss 
Dolly, but I assure you that there 
is not another one to be had 
within a thousand miles." 

^J* ^|^ ^j> JK /K 

And now for the joke: We 
were cruising in Japanese waters. 
The wife of Captain Watson of 

121 



the British Navy, was with us. 
She was quick to observe that 
Dolly, who could not bear to hurt 
the feelings of friend or foe, had 
a habit of coming on deck as we 
entered a harbor, looking about 
to see if there was a man-of-war 
in sight. The moment we got 
near enough for her to read the 
name she would rush down below 
and place on her hat the cap-rib- 
bon from that ship. 

One day as we approached the 
Vladamir Monomack, seeing that 
the officers knew of our coming 
and were putting out in a boat to 
call upon us, she changed her hat 
decoration so rapidly that the 
letters were upside down, to the 
great amusement of the officers 
who suspected the truth. When 
they took their departure Mrs. 
Watson slyly remarked: "Now 

122 




-V. 



Mademoiselle Dolly, I have you 
in my power, and if you don't 
put on the ribbon of my husband's 
ship — the Leander — at once and 
wear it faithfully until the end of 
the cruise, I shall tell all the of- 
ficers on board of your little 
tricks and then everybody will 
know and no one will feel com- 
plimented." 



123 



A DINNER AT GOVERN- 
MENT HOUSE, HONG 
KONG. 

DINING WITH THE RUS- 
SIAN ADMIRAL ON HIS 
FLAGSHIP. 

DINING WITH THE RUSSI- 
AN OFFICERS AND THE 
LESSON THEY TAUGHT US. 

THE RUSSIAN PRINCE 

WHO ACCOMPANIED US TO 

NEW YORK. 



A DINNER AT GOVERNMENT HOUSE, 
HONG KONG. 

One of the first entertainments 
given us in Hong Kong was by 
the Governor and his wife — at 
Government House, a dinner, fol- 
lowed by a ball. 

As I entered the ballroom, on 
the arm of a famous Russian ad- 
miral, the Russian national air 
was played in his honor. 

I told him a little story of the 
first time I had ever heard that 
anthem. 

I was a small school-girl. The 
Russian fleet had come into the 
harbor. As the head of our board- 
ing-school had met one of the 
Russian captains while traveling 
through his country she invited 
him to pay a visit to the school. 
He accepted. 

127 



We were all taught the Rus- 
sian National anthem, which we 
rose and sang as he entered. 

The admiral stopped short in 
his promenade, turned and looked 
at me, saying: "What a coinci- 
dence! Why, madame, I was 
that captain! 



128 



DINING WITH THE RUSSIAN AD- 
MIRAL ON HIS FLAGSHIP. 

Later, we dined very often on 
the Russian admiral's flagship: 
sometimes with him; sometimes 
in the wardroom, with the of- 
ficers. 

After our first dinner with the 
latter, we were taught a lesson 
which we never forgot. 

Their cabins were thrown open 
for our inspection. We tried to 
say something pleasant, and find 
something to admire in every 
cabin. 

As we stepped into the mag- 
nificent mahogany steam launch, 
which was waiting to take us on 
shore, there we saw each article 
we had admired. 



129 



On our return to the United 
States, we were accompanied by 
a celebrated Russian Prince who 
had never been in this country. 

Our first walk down Fifth ave- 
nue was most amusing owing to 
his startling exclamations. 

"Why! Who are those people 
using red wheels on their car- 
riages? Red wheels can only be 
used by the family in Rus- 
sia !" and "What are those people 
doing with yellow wheels ? They 
belong exclusively to Prince 
-'s family." 

Before leaving for his native 
land, the Prince said : "They talk 
of their 400 or of their 150 in 
New York! We have only four- 
teen families in all Russia! and 
here are letters of introduction I 
have written you, to each, mad- 
ame, in case I should happen to 

130 



be away when you decide to visit 
my country." 

I am hoping that the fourteen 
will still be living when I have 
the great good fortune to pay that 
long-promised visit. 



131 



HOW OTHERS SEE US. 

A Most Surprising and Amusing 

Interpretation. 



HOW OTHERS SEE US. 

In the year 1881, while paying 
a visit in Tokio, I expressed my 
intention of visiting Kioto the fol- 
lowing week. 

One of the court officials said: 
"But you cannot go alone to 
Kioto, madame, it would not be 
safe." 

"I am not going alone, my maid 
goes with me." 

"That is no protection. I ad- 
vise you strongly not to go." 

"Of what should I be afraid, I 
who have travelled all over the 
world. Our ships are soon to be 
ordered home and not on any ac- 
count would I return without 
having visited so wonderful and 
beautiful a spot." 

After discussing the matter for 
some time, my adviser, finding 

135 



that nothing could shake my de- 
termination, wrote me a letter of 
introduction to the Governor of 
Kioto. On reaching that most 
fascinating of inland towns, I 
was met by an official of high 
rank who approached and saluted 
me. It was dusk. From a stick 
across his shoulder swung a light- 
ed lantern. Thinking that I did 
not understand the Japanese 
language he pointed to the crest 
on his lantern to show that he 
was no ordinary individual. He 
accompanied me to the hotel and 
then explained that he had been 
deputized by the Governor to 
call each morning during my stay 
and take me wherever I wanted 
to go. 

He suggested that as I might 
not know just what was worth 
seeing he might make a list. "Oh, 

136 



but I do know just what I want 

to see." 

"Will madame kindly tell me?" 
"I want to see everything that 

foreigners are not permitted to 



see." 



My guide opened his eyes in 
astonishment, but made no com- 
ment. 

He presented himself very 
early the next morning and did 
so much towards gratifying my 
wish that we saw much that has 
never been described in song or 
story; but there is neither time 
nor space to describe our exciting 
adventures in this little book. 

On my return after the first 
day's sightseeing I found a letter 
from my dearest and most con- 
genial of chums, the wife of Ad- 
miral . 

She wrote that as my husband 

137 



was worried over the risk of my 
adventure into the interior he had 
obtained a short leave of absence, 
adding that if I would like the 
pleasure of her company she 
would take advantage of his visit 
to me by going with him and 
spending a few days in Kioto. I 
was overjoyed and begged her to 
lose no time. 

What delightful trips we three 
had together! We gave the poor 
guide scarcely a moment to rest, 
such indefatigable sightseers 

were we. At last Mrs. was 

obliged to take her departure 
without seeing the famous "No 
dance" which we had been beg- 
ging and praying our guide to 
take us to. She left after tiffin and 
we started sightseeing. The guide 
suddenly announced that he had 
finally obtained permission for us 

138 



to witness the "No dance." In 
my enthusiasm I exclaimed to my 
husband: "Oh, do take the quick- 
est jinrickisha men and see if you 

cannot overtake Mrs. . I am 

sure she would postpone her 
trip a week rather than lose such 
an opportunity. In response to 
my plea my husband hastened to 
overtake my dear friend and luck- 
ily did so, bringing her back to 
share the long-wished for pleas- 
ure. How we have laughed at the 
way in which this incident was 
interpreted by the Japanese and 
this interpretation only is the 
raison d'etre of my story. This 
is the way my Japanese maid 
heard it told in her dining-room 
to a host of interested listen- 
ers. "Big cap'n leave ship an' 
come here to see wife No. I — 
He bling Wife No. 2— Wife No. 

139 



i little while velly nice Wife No. 
2 — Bimeby Wife No. i no waut- 
chee more Wife No. 2 — makee go 
'way. Bimeby Wife No. 1 no 
look big cap'n run after Wife No. 
2 — bring back. Wife No. 1 no 
say nothing. Velly still keep just 
now. P'laps bimeby big fight. 
To-night we watchee!" 



140 



MY STRANGE EXPERIENCE 

AS GUEST OF H. R. H., 

THE MIKADO OF 

JAPAN. 



MY STRANGE EXPERIENCE AS 
GUEST OF H. R. H., THE MIKADO 
OF JAPAN. 

My only excuse for that which 
follows, is, that it happened "a 
many years ago, when I was 
young — and — thoughtless. 

I had followed the U.S.S. Pen- 
sacola to beautiful Japan — and 
then been tempted to leave the 
seaports, for the mysterious and 
wonderfully attractive interior of 
the country. 

The date for the home "steam- 
ing" of the Pensacola was finally 
fixed. The last moment was 
rapidly drawing nigh. It found 
me, as it usually finds one, quite 
unprepared. Many important 
things had been postponed until 
that inevitable hour, which al- 
ways comes too soon. 

Having wandered for two years 

143 



through the interior, and having 
been far from the capital at the 
time of the fetes of the Cherry 
Blossom and the Chrysanthe- 
mum, as well as the fete given to 
our officers and their wives, I 
had never even seen the Mikado. 
I had a premonition that he 
would figure very prominently in 
the affairs of the world, before the 
close of the century, so I de- 
termined that I would not leave 
the Empire without at least a 
glimpse of its ruler. 

How was it to be accom- 
plished? 

The captain's cabin of the old 
"City of Pekin" had been booked 
for me. 

The Pensacola with long home- 
ward bound pennant had left the 
harbor to an accompaniment of 
hearty cheers and good wishes 

144 



from the lusty throats of all the 
sailors from the men-of-war of 
every country. But two days in- 
tervened before the sailing- of the 
"City of Pekin." 

How could I meet the Emperor 
in that short space of time? 

There was no chance for pre- 
sentation at court. I never doubt- 
ed, however, for an instant, the 
final accomplishment of any pro- 
ject upon which I had set my 
heart. 

Fate was propitious. 

An official from Tokio, of high 
rank, called at my little bunga- 
low, to pay his respects and wish 
me Godspeed. 

"Not yet, adieu," said I. 

I must go to Tokio and see the 
Mikado before leaving. 
Will you arrange it?" 
That would be very difficult, 
madame !" 

145 



a- 



w 



"Not for the 'Court Favorite'!" 

"But consider, madame! you 
sail on Thursday. To-day is 
Tuesday. Wednesday alone in- 
tervenes, and the Emperor is to 
spend to-morrow at the regatta 
distributing prizes." 

"The very thing! I will go to 
the regatta!" 

"But, madame! It is entirely 
a Japanese affair. No foreigners 
are ever invited. I am extremely 
sorry, but it cannot be done!" 

"Anything can be done by 
a great favorite at court !" 

I sighed, as the visitor took his 
departure. 

"The following morning a big 

envelope with the imperial crest 

was handed me. Inside — an in- 
vitation to attend the Japanese 

regatta. 

Great was my triumph on leav- 

146 



ing for Tokio, where, not an or- 
dinary jinrickisha awaited me at 
the station, but a luxurious car- 
riage with prancing horses. The 
drive to the water was glorious. 
The scenery in Japan is so fas- 
cinating that the heart of the 
tourist is filled with buoyancy 
and gladness. It is not to be 
wondered at that the inhabitants 
are smiling and happy. 

As the horses stopped at the en- 
trance to the Pavilion the court 
favorite presented high officials 
who escorted me with great cere- 
mony to the box of Prince Nebe- 
shima, adjoining that of His Im- 
perial Majesty, who was standing 
and about to present a prize to 
the lucky winner of one of the 
races. 

As he finished his speech, he 
turned, looked me squarely in the 

147 



face, smiled, twirled his mous- 
tache and smiled again as though 
much amused at sight of the only 
American present. 

"I think your Emperor is very 
rude !" I exclaimed indignantly to 
the court favorite. The beautiful 
Princess Nebeshima and her com- 
panions endeavored to conceal 
their feelings at this unpardon- 
able speech and hastily changed 
the subject by translating the pro- 
gram to me. 

The incident was forgotten in 
my enthusiasm over the race 
which followed. 

While delightfully watching 
the winner, as he left the august 
presence, after receiving his 
prize, the remark which I was 
about to make, froze on my lips, 
as the then young Emperor once 
more turned, concentrating his 

148 



gaze upon me with a kindly ex- 
pression, but one that showed a 
most unmistakable sense of deep 
amusement. Wrapping myself in 
a heavy mantle of dignity, I rose, 
said to the court favorite: "I am 
not going to remain here to be in- 
sulted/' made my adieux to the 
beautiful smiling Princess and 
her companions, and left . . . 
wondering why all seemed 
amused and why no one had ex- 
hibited the slightest feeling of in- 
dignation at my severe criticism. 

I was escorted by General 
Oyama and several officers who 
have recently figured prominent- 
ly before the world. They urged 
upon me delicious refreshments 
from the luxuriously appointed 
buffet. 

As the court favorite handed 
me into the carriage, then entered 

149 



himself to accompany me to the 
station, my indignation broke 
forth. 

There was no word of sym- 
pathy in reply, but I detected in- 
stead a sound of suppressed mer- 
riment. On turning- sharply I 
saw that my companion was mak- 
ing superhuman efforts to control 
certain muscles of his face, and 
then — peal after peal of uncon- 
trollable laughter rang forth, 
which increased in volume as my 
astonishment and indignation 
grew. At last, in reply to — "How 
dare you? What does all this 
mean?" the laughing escort said: 
"Oh, madame! if you will only 
promise to forgive me, I will tell 
you the whole truth!" 

"Tell me instantly!" was the 
imperious command. "Very well, 
madame. You remember that 

150 



you insisted upon attending this 
fete, even after my explanation 
that no foreigner had ever been 
invited? Not wishing to disap- 
point you, I went to His Imperial 
Majesty and told him that an 
American lady had fallen violent- 
ly in love with him — that her hus- 
band's ship had already started 
for home, and that although she 
was under sailing orders for 
Thursday, she had solemnly 
sworn that she would not leave 
the country without a farewell 
glimpse of the Emperor. I begged 
him, in order to keep peace in 
your family, madame, and that 
you might sail at the appointed 
time, to send you the invitation 
which you received this morning. 
Much amused by my story, 
the Mikado, being young and gal- 
lant, could not disappoint you, so 

151 



upon your arrival, he gave you 
the full benefit of the glances for 
which he supposed you had 
sighed. As the Princess and the 
officials in the box to which you 
were invited, were in the secret, 
they did not resent your harsh 
criticism of their Emperor. I do 
hope that you will not be angry, 
madame!" 

Feeling that my punishment 
had been well merited, and keen- 
by enjoying the joke, I joined in 
the laughter with the court favor- 
ite — and — forgave him. 



152 



MY SWEET REVENGE ON 
A BRITISH ADMIRAL. 




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172 




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MY SWEET REVENGE ON A BRITISH 
ADMIRAL. 

In 1898, on my first return from 
the Klondike, finding that (in 
common with other early Klon- 
dike explorers) I was being too 
much lionized in that lively, wide- 
a-wake city, Seattle, I conclud- 
ed to cross over to the quiet, 
beautiful sleepy little English 
town Victoria, British Columbia, 
where I could recuperate and get 
perfect rest after a terrible tramp- 
over the Skagway Pass. 

On reaching the Hotel Driard, 
just as I was about to sign my 
name in the register, my eyes 
were dazzled by the brass buttons 
and gold lace of an admiral of 
the Royal English Navy, who was 
followed by his flag-lieutenant, a 
little less resplendent. 

"Why !" exclaimed the admiral, 

155 



"if there isn't Mrs. Hitchcock! 
When did you get back from the 
Klondike? Sit down and let me 
hear what exciting things you 
have been doing and seeing since 
we last met in Hong Kong . . . 
and oh! Backie," he exclaimed, 
addressing his flag-lieutenant by 
his pet name, "Just telephone 
Captain and Mrs. Granville that 
I cannot go to their dinner to- 
night as an old friend from the 
Klondike has just arrived and we 
must dine together. Tell them 
that you will take my place." 

Now this Captain and Mrs. 
Granville were dear old friends of 
mine from the Yokohama days 
and had given me a standing in- 
vitation to visit them on my re- 
turn from the Klondike wherever 
they might be. 

Hardly had Lieutenant 

156 



"Backie" left the booth before 
they telephoned to know if Mrs. 
Hitchcock had arrived and would 
come to the 'phone? 

"Is that you, dear?" called a 
sweet voice. "You must come di- 
rectly to us — your rooms are 
ready for you." 

Upon learning that, although 
the invitation was most deeply 
appreciated, it was impossible to 
accept it just then — the sweet 
voice said: "Do come and have 
dinner with us to-night! Just a 
little party of twenty. We shall 
be so glad to welcome you and 
hear of your wonderful experi- 



ences." 



"I can't ! Fm dining with your 
admiral," was the joking reply. 

Instead of having a peaceful, 
quiet, restful time in beautiful 
Victoria, there were big dinners 

157 



and luncheons daily. The Gran- 
villes started the ball rolling, 
while as for Admiral Palliser, he 
gave two luncheons weekly for 
the Victorian's and his "Adven- 
turous American Friend" to meet. 

In Seattle I had had a photo- 
graph taken of my splendid 
"Great Dane" with me, at the foot 
of the Skagway Pass. 

Admiral Palliser had asked for 
a copy and received it. At the 
first luncheon he exhibited it to 
all his guests, saying, "Don't you 
think it rather strange that snow 
should be falling everywhere on 
the Skagway Pass, and that not 
one flake should touch our Ameri- 
can friend and her handsome es- 
cort?" 

Of course, there was a hearty 
good-natured laugh at my ex- 
pense not only upon this occasion, 

158 



but upon many others, for the ad- 
miral enjoyed the joke so much 
that the photograph came on with 
the coffee at each entertainment. 

At last I determined to turn the 
tables. 

The following- letter was sent 
to the Seattle photographer: 
"Dear Sir:— 

"Would it be possible for you 
to touch up the negative and 
make flakes of snow fall on my 
dog and on me? If so, do it at 
once and send a dozen copies by 
first steamer." 

The next mail brought this re- 
ply: 
"Dear Madam:— 

"The artist is making the snow 
fall on you and your dog. You 
will receive the revised edition 
early next week. Awaiting fur- 
ther orders, etc." 

159 



When I attended the sixteenth 
luncheon given in my honor by 
Admiral Palliser, little did he 
realize what the great foig en- 
velope in my hand contained, nor 
that revenge was soon to be mine. 

When no one was looking I 
hastily changed the photographs. 
I could scarcely wait for the 
momentous question. At last it 
came. 

"Have you seen Mrs. Hitch- 
cock's picture taken on the Skag- 
way Pass? Even the snow treat- 
ed her kindly in that great North- 
land. Don't you think it exceed- 
ingly queer that it should fall all 
about her and never touch her or 
her dog?" 

Before anyone had time to re- 
ply, I exclaimed: 

"Now admiral! I will not allow 
you to tell such a fib as that 

160 




steward! bring that photograph 
(See page 161) 



again ! My stories are considered 
big enough to be incredible, but 
they at least have the merit of be- 
ing absolutely true. I leave it to 
the guests at this table to decide 
whether your statement is ac- 
curate upon this occasion/' 

"Accurate ! Why of course it's 
accurate as anyone can tell by 
looking at the picture ! 

"Steward! Bring that photo- 
graph !" 

"And may he pass it around the 
table and will you permit your 
guests to decide?" 

"Why, of course I will I" 

It was brought and passed to 
each one. Finally it reached the 
admiral who after looking at it 
gave me a glance which showed 
that my revenge was complete. 



161 



THE FIRST KOREAN EM- 
BASSY TO THE UNITED 
STATES AND WHAT 
ITS MEMBERS 
THOUGHT OF 
US IN BALL 
GOWNS. 



THE FIRST COREAN EMBASSY TO 
THE UNITED STATES AND WHAT 
ITS MEMBERS THOUGHT OF US IN 
BALL GOWNS. 

In the early eighties, when we 
were in Japan, the U.S.S. Mon- 
ocacy was dispatched to Korea 
with the first Minister Plenipo- 
tentiary to that country with his 
staff. 

At that time we were told that 
Korean women were never al- 
lowed to show their faces to any 
men, outside the immediate mem- 
bers of the family. 

A bridegroom was not per- 
mitted to see the face of the wo- 
man he was to marry until after 
the ceremony had been per- 
formed, and then it was not 
considered good form to evince 
the least sign of disappointment. 

There was a very curious cus- 

165 



torn which obliged all men to be 
in their houses at nine o'clock at 
night, and remain there, while 
the women were permitted to 
roam the streets at will. 

I was telling- of this, one even- 
ing, while giving a lecture on 
Korea, when a woman in the 
audience said in a stage whisper: 
"H'm! Not much fun roaming 
the streets if the men are all 
locked up." 

Now that you understand how 
invisible women must be in that 
part of the Orient you will be able 
to view that which follows from a 
Korean standpoint: 

The U.S.S. Monocacy home- 
ward bound had as distinguished 
passengers, members of the first 
Korean Embassy ever accredited 
to the United States. 

When they stopped at Yoko- 

166 



hama our officers decided to give 
a large ball in their honor. 

On entering the hall, the mem- 
bers of the Korean Embassy were 
dazzled at their first sight of 
women in ball gowns. 

Instead of waiting to be pre- 
sented they locked arms, walked 
first to one woman, then to an- 
other, felt, examined and loudly 
criticized her costume. 

One of them attempted to 
chuck the wife of an Ambassador 
under the chin. 

The interpreter caught his arm, 
explaining that such familiarity 
could not be allowed. 

Another attempted to touch the 
cheek of a very pretty woman, 
but was stopped. 

"Why shouldn't we/' said 
they. "That's the way we treat 
our Geisha girls." 

167 



It was explained to them that 
they might speak to these women 
only when presented, but under 
no circumstances could they 
touch them. 

"What are they here for then?" 
indignantly queried one of the 
Koreans. 

"They are wives of Ambassa- 
dors, Ministers, and brave of- 
ficers. If you touch them it will 
give cause for international com- 
plications." 

"Wives of Ambassadors! in- 
deed! Oh, no! You can't fool us! 
Ambassadors and officers would 
never allow their wives to 
show their faces, necks and arms 
in this way. Not touch them, in- 
deed ! Look at all the men with 
their arms around their waists! 
See their heads almost on the 
men's shoulders! 

168 



"Oh, no! You can't fool us! 
They simply don't like us !" 

With that they once more lock- 
ed arms, marched out of the hall 
with their very dignified "Prus- 
sian Goose Step." 



169 



THE BRAVEST ACTS I 
HAVE EVER WIT- 
NESSED. 

Two Stories Contributed by The 

Admiral of the Navy, George 

Dewey. 



THE BRAVEST ACTS I HAVE EVER 
WITNESSED. 

I shall have to relate two deeds 
of bravery, for I have never been 
able to determine which of them 
was the greater. 

During the Civil War, when I 
was attached to the Mononga- 
hela, during the siege of Port 
Hudson in the Mississippi River, 
we were being fired upon by a 
shore battery when our main- 
mast was struck by a shot or shell 
which then fell upon the deck. 

Of all the officers and crew, no 
one knew whether we had been 
struck by a shot or a shell. 

If the latter, it might explode 
at any moment and kill or wound 
many. 

In the midst of the excitement 
which ensued, a member of the 
crew, coolly picked up the unwel- 

173 



come visitor and threw it over- 
board. This has always seemed 
to me a particularly brave deed, 
since, for all the man knew, he 
might have been blown into a 
thousand pieces before reaching 
the ship's side . . . but 
he kept his head, and 
acted as coolly as if throwing 
away a piece of waste paper. 

■vj> vl^ yU* ■vt^- >$£ 

Ten years later, I was in com- 
mand of the Narragansett, at 
the Mare Island Navy Yard, Cali- 
fornia. 

We were anchored in a very 
strong tideway. One night a 
man fell overboard. The usual 
hurried steps were taken. 

As he drifted astern, the entire 
ship's company ran aft, to keep 
him in sight, if possible. 

174 



There were probably one hun- 
dred and fifty officers and men as- 
sembled there. 

Suddenly, one man, taking his 
life in his hands, heeding- not the 
pitchy blackness of the night, nor 
the tide running like a millrace, 
jumped into the water, seized his 
drowning comrade and held him 
until help arrived. 

When the rescuer and rescued 
were brought on board I told the 
former that I considered him the 
bravest man of us all. 

I did not mean that there was 
no one else who would have done 
what he did, but that he was the 
one man who saw and instantly 
seized his opportunity. 

He lost no time weighing 
chances. 

He asked not "Am I my broth- 
er's keeper?'' but he saw the need 

175 



of his service to a fellow being 
and gave it freely. 

He afterward received from 
the Government a gold medal for 
saving life." 



The End, 



CONTENTS 

i. The Admiral Who Kept a Sailors' Board- 
ing-house. 

How Admiral K. Interrupted a Caudle 
Lecture. 

Admiral K.'s Reply to His Would-be Son- 
in-Law. 

2. How Jack Fixed the "Sky-Pilot." 

3. Why the Order Was Issued Forbidding 
Women to Live on a Man-of-War. 

4. Admiral Sigsbee's Stories — by Himself — 
with the Addition of One I Know 
About Him. 

The Shoemaker's Letter. 

Commander la Rocha of The Royal Span- 
ish Navy. 

Admiral Sigsbee and "The Daughters of 
the Grand Army." 

A Terrible Thunder Storm in Washing- 
ton and What Happened. 

5. The Unwelcome Guest on Board the U. 
S. S. at Norfolk, Virginia. 

6. Vesuvio in Charleston, S. C, "The Beau- 
tiful City-by-the-Sea." 

7. Captain D.'s Defence of Our Faithful 
Friend Jack — Golden Silence. 

8. Lieutenant K. — Prince Paleologue and 
The Professional Dog Barber. 

9. The Commodore Who Tried to Speak 
French (who also snored, but not al- 
ways). 

10. A Royal Pair (meaning the most genial 
of kings and the most strenuous and 
versatile of emperors). 

11. Admiral Porter's Explanation of "What 
Mosquitoes Are Good For." 



12. How a Missionary Was Made by Tales 

of a Naval Officer. 

13. Mrs. Admiral and Mrs. Junior Lieutenant. 

14. A Japanese Maid — Vicissitudes of Life in 

Far-off Japaru 

15. How Dolly and I Followed the U. S. S. 

Alert. 

16. Dolly and Her Cap-Ribbons. 

17. A Dinner at Government House, Hong 

Kong. Dining With the Russian Ad- 
miral On His Flag Ship. Dining With 
the Russian Officers and the Lesson We 
Learned. The Russian Prince Who 
.,._-- Accompanied Us to New York. 7 

18. How Others See Us. A Most Surprising 

and Amusing Interpretation. 

19. My Strange Experience as (Juest of H. 

R. H. the Mikado of Japan. 

20. My Sweet Revenge on a British Admiral. 

21. The First Korean Embassy to the United 

States and What Its Members Thought 
of Us in Ball Gowns. 

22. Two Stories by 

The Adrniral of the Navy, 

George Dewey, 
entitled "The Bravest Deeds I Have 
Ever Witnessed." 



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Two Women in the 
Klondike 

with over 100 illustrations and map 
8°, $3.50 

G. P. PUTNAM'S SONS, New York and London 



New York Herald: "The Book of the 
Week." 

New York Times: "A truthful account of 
the Klondike country comes as near to novelty 
as a modern writer may reasonably hope to 
get Mrs. Hitchcock's narrative is marked 
by an assiduous veracity in which she is aided 
by her excellent health and mirthful temper. 
. . . The illustrations, which are very nu- 
merous, are chosen with much discretion and 
show town and tent life as well as various 
aspects of the magnificent scenery." 

Boston Herald: "Mrs. Hitchcock offers us 
a long and exceedingly interesting account of 
what she and her companion saw what 
they did and where they went and how people 
treated them and from this racy record the 
reader obtains a fairer and more complete 
idea of the life of Dawson than from any 
other books that have so far been written. 
This daily record is a perfect mine of infor- 
mation." 



Two Women in the Klondike. 

Town and Country: "There cannot be a 
more interesting record of travel than that 
made up from the daily note-book of a lady 
who has seen nearly all the world, has been 
received everywhere into the best society, has 
witnessed almost every phase of human na- 
ture, loves to look at the best side of every- 
thing and has that amiability of temper which 
is not ruffled by privation, discomfort and 
disappointment." 

Minneapolis Tribune: "The style of her 
narrative is of a most entertaining character, 
and she relates in a bright, vivacious way all 
she saw in the Klondike, and she managed to 
see a good deal and gives a very readable 
account of the bright side of Alaskan travel, 
for these travellers were not stinted as regards 
money." 

San Francisco Chronicle: "The varied ex- 
periences of this adventurous outing are very 
agreeably related." 

Victoria, B. C, Times: "The Putnams 
have not issued from their presses for many 
a day a volume so full of fresh and fascinat- 
ing interest. To meet Mrs. Hitchcock and 
to listen to her bright and racy conversation 
was to feel certain that any thing she might 
write would possess at least the saving grace 
of human interest, if not the hall marks of 
genius. Apart altogether from the superb 



Two Women in the Klondike. 

illustrations, which are scattered with gen- 
erous profusion throughout the book, the 
chatty, sympathetic manner of the writer is 
sufficient to hold the attention of the reader 
unflaggingly. Although the work is so largely 
entertaining, and makes the best kind of 
summer reading, there is an ample store of 
solidly useful information, for which persons 
interested in the Klondike yearn. 

"The book will take its place as one of the 
most remarkable contributions to the litera- 
ture of travel that a decade singularly rich in 
that literature, and marked by many volumes 
which will delight generations has seen. 

"It is by far the finest book on the Klondike 

yet issued/' 

The Churchman: /'The book, both as re- 
lates to human life and to natural conditions, 
is filled with freshness and interest. . . . 
It is a worthy memorial of a season of singu- 
lar enjoyment." 

News, Indianapolis: "The author has a 
naive way of dealing frankly with some rather 
dangerous subjects/' 

Province, Vancouver, B. C. : "Journal of re- 
markable incidents." 

The Colonist, Victoria, B. C: "During 
Mrs. Hitchcock's visit to Atlin a special meet- 
ing of the Arctic Brotherhood Association 



Two Women in the Klondike. 

was held with the object of electing her an 
honorary member, but it being contrary to 
the constitution to confer that distinction upon 
a lady, a resolution was passed expressing 
much regret at this fact and appreciation of 
the grand work the authoress has done in 
fighting for justice for the northern districts." 

G. P. PUTNAM'S SONS 

New York, London, 

27 West 23d St. 24 Bedford St., Strand. 



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